Cosmopolis

A billionaire decides to take a limo ride across Manhattan to get a haircut, as hour by hour his world unravels.

The film covers a day in the life of 28 year old billionaire "Eric Packer" and his journey from one side of Manhattan in order to have a haircut. During the course of the 24 hours his life undergoes a major number of changes, that ultimately lead to his demise.

He spends most of the day in his custom built limousine, the people who need to speak to him, come and go as he makes his way through the city towards his barber. On the way across town, they run foul of a presidential visit, a dangerous and destructive riot; Packer's estranged wife "Elise" and also some very strange people who seem obsessed with the need for the Rat to become the new unit of world currency.

Trades which began at the opening of the markets, betting against the Yuan, sees his personal fortune take a dive from the hundreds of billions of Dollars, to just a few hundred million in a few short hours, but the young man seems not too bothered by these developments. The only seeming constants in his world are his head of security "Torval", always keeping his boss up to speed with warnings coming from the "compound", worryingly of somebody who wants to kill the billionaire...Eventually destiny will play her own hand.

It has been a long, long time since I have watched such a steaming pile of self appreciating rubbish as this film. 90 percent of the film takes place in an ultra modern limousine, not the best place for shooting a big screen movie. The movie takes one hour and forty eight minutes to achieve absolutely nothing, other than annoying the audience and boring them to tears.

It did not surprise me at all that nearly 60% of the cinema audience walked out of this one, it was just that bad. There was no real point to the film, other than the cast patting themselves on the back for being so smart. Robert Pattison takes the lead role in this one, as "Eric Packer", a man who seems to live above the rest of the world, completely out of touch with society and seemingly happy to live in the little bubble that is his limo. I did hope that he had turned the corner with his superb portrayal of "Jacob" in "Water for Elephants", but he seems to have taken a few massive steps back in his career in this one. It is too early in his career to pull of this sort of "artistically experimental" role. The only person I could see doing any justice to this role would be Al Pacino.

Toronto born Sarah Gadon must be wishing she had never heard of this script after a horrendous showing as "Elise Shifrin". She is wooden and completely emotionless, with the charisma of a dead fish in this film and I am not even sure what purpose she had being in it. Fellow Canadian Kevin Durand is the only truly bright light in this movie in his role as head of security "Torval". He brings a bit of cheekiness to the story, adding the odd laugh and lighter side to the script, but still can to little to improve this snooze fest.

The story is massively disjointed, drags and is just downright strange, never really settling on any one fixed direction. The ending, which should have taken 5 minutes to complete; is dragged out to five times that and still makes no sense. At the climax you are truly begging for it to end.

Even if you have nothing else to do with your time, do not waste it on this one. You will never forgive yourself.

2/10